Nagen Front Runner for Mayor of the Year
Mayor Nagen is in the front running for the Mayor of the Year award that will presented in December. He might also make Time’s Man of the Year if trends keep going the way they are. When I spoke to an anonymous member selection committee about how they came up with Nagen’s name for mayor of the year, I was told, “Mayor Nagen has decreased the amount of crime in New Orleans by a hundred fold. Not many mayors can say they started out with the city with the highest murder rate and then, in a matter of a month, be at the bottom of the list. Plus, he saved countless lives by rescinding his plea for the citizens of New Orleans to come back to face Hurricane Rita. The man is a misunderstood hero.”
I then asked, “…But what about the failure of Mayor Nagen to follow his own evacuation plan before Hurricane Katrina? Do you think that the drop in murders might have been caused by the lack of people in New Orleans?”
Anonymous member of the selection committee replied, “Don’t you watch the news? It was all Bush’s fault. It doesn’t matter how Mayor Nagen reduced the murder rate. The fact that it has been reduced next to nothing is still remarkable.”
This has only been a premonition and is not based on any fact. If this does happen in the near future all must bow down to my clairvoyant powers.