Dear Wyatt

Dear Wyatt

I’ve noticed that you like to pick on other bloggers. I’m not sure why you would do this knowing that I have a photo of you modeling the latest Philadelphia police department uniform.

Sincerely
Dr. Phat Tony


P.S. This is not a Photoshop (o.k. really it’s my first photoshop)

Falling Apart

Well I guess I’m really on a role. I’ve got two posts under my belt and it hasn’t even been a week.

Remember my last post I told everyone that my stuff was breaking left and right? I’ll need to add something to that list. Go ahead and add large portions of my body that feel as if they might fall off. I’ve got two things working against me today. One is that on Sunday night I literally played Wii boxing until I made my shoulders sore and last night a played on my company basketball league without any subs. (We lost that game by only 4. I wish we had just a few more players.) Today my body is rejecting most movement. Last night was obviously much worse. I came home after the basketball game and then tried not to move for a few hours hoping that everything would stop hurting. After that monumental waste of non-effort, that had no effect on how much my body was punishing me for playing basketball, I gingerly and slowly took the few steps it takes to get from the couch to the kitchen to get some wonderful food that Mrs. DPT cooked for me.

Since I’m sure that my team will not win a game until I can find some warm bodies to throw out on the court to give everyone a break, I’ve been doing my best to recruit guys to the team. This is much harder than it sounds since we haven’t won a game (or had more than 7 players) since the opening tournament where we beat the other team from our company. It seems that no one wants to join a team where you don’t get to have any breaks and lose.

The next game is Thursday. I hope to have a post about a basketball victory on Friday. I wouldn’t hold my breath since it looks like we’ll have the same five players and no subs.

End of the Silent Treatment

Alright already! I’m writing, sort of. Look, I don’t have a great excuse like Uber. I don’t even have a weak excuse like A4G. I just couldn’t find motivation to write anything. I look at the headlines and see humor and just can’t think of anything to add.
So I’ll let you in on what has been going on lately, since I haven’t written anything since before Christmas. All my stuff broke within a few weeks. I’ll list them: water heater, central heat, shower fixtures, tires for wife’s car, my will to live (kidding), and the stove looks like it’s heading towards the crap pile too. This makes my wallet awfully light and my humor slightly soured. It’s not going to bring me down mind you, but it makes my nights and weekends light in the fun department. I’m looking at getting a second job for a few months to supplement my bad luck. If I go this route it might be even longer between posts, not that there has been an outpouring of interest on where I’ve been anyway. (well Pandy and Contagion were looking for me)

I guess I could share my thoughts on one thing in the news before leaving you to ponder when my next post will be. I’ve seen the picture of the college kids that had the MLK Day party and the backlash that they received for having a party making fun of stereotypes. All though I haven’t seen anyone in my neighborhood sporting the “I like chicken” t-shirt the one guy is wearing or Aunt Jemima with a 40oz, the rest of the cliché garments I can spot by looking out my front window or watching BET. I’ll put it the best way I can. I could care less if some black orginaztion had a white party and dressed like rednecks or wore horrible plaid golf outfits. If they sat around eating mayonnaise on white bread, sipping earl grey tea, and watched Monty Python films it would not offend me in the least. I personally think making fun of stereotypes is funny. If there wasn’t any truth to them they wouldn’t be funny.

That’s why this 5th of May I’m having a party where people will have to climb a fence to get in. Then as an extra bonus I’ll let the guests roof my house for $20.

Hey everyone, get a frackin sense of humor.